The last few weeks I have been in denial. The kind of denial that you think if you just don't talk about it everything will magically disappear in a puff of smoke. Well, today I realized that my denial is gone and reality has set in....big time.
Most Americans are feeling a bit of hesitancy these days and to a point I really don't think that is all bad. I have however found myself questioning every little expense lately even more so than I usually do. If I am cold in the house (and let's face it with as cold as it has been here that is quite often) I question,"Do I turn the heat up a few notches or do I put on yet another layer of clothing?". I am invited to a birthday party for a good friend and I wonder,"Wow should I really spend money on going out to eat right now?", I see a great deal on kids clothing that in reality will save us money in the future but when the computer stops working in the middle of my purchase I take it as a "sign" that maybe I should not buy the clothes right now.
Much of these feelings are due to the unstable situation at my husbands workplace right now. My unease is also in great part due to the fact that many people I know and love are loosing their jobs left and right. I found out today that a family we know and love lost their job, my father has been out of work since November and my sweet brother lost his job yesterday as well.
We are fully aware that we are blessed to have a job at all right now but the question I have is how proactive do you try and be in a situation as this. Do you weather the storm and hope for the best or do you try your best at making your own destiny and hit the pavement and start looking for new jobs?
We have done our fair share of moving, and I for sure have done my part. I have been moving from place to place my entire life. The longest I have ever lived ANYWHERE is 6 years. I am 31 now so you do the math. I am tired of living my life in the upheaval of life in motion. We have finally found the perfect package of friends, church, community, home....we just love it all. I have learned to make the best out of most of my moves...after all, what other option do you have? But, the thought of leaving this perfect little bubble already just knocks me down to a place of hurt and despair that I can't even describe.
So pardon the long introspective post but the only solace I have found in the last few days is from a pan of brownies. Darn you brownies!!!! Why do you taste so good in my state of sorrow????
Please know that I am not ungrateful and I do completely realize that we STILL have a job and a beautiful home and nothing tragic has happened yet and may very well never happen. I do realize however that I need to spend much more time on my knees praying for comfort and peace and guidance and know that Heavenly Father is the only one who can lead our little family in the direction it needs to go.
I hope for all of my other friends and family in the same position right now that they may turn to the Lord for comfort as well and that we will all be there to comfort one another!
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9 comments:
Very well said and expressed! I'm glad we got to chat yesterday! I have the same things running through my head all the time. And I question everything I spend money on....because who knows what'll happen tomorrow. I think I'm instinctively preparing for the worse even though my mind is denial...but you're right...the only thing to give us comfort and direction is to get on our knees and put our faith in our loving Heavenly Fahter who will guide us through it all!!! You're so great :)
I need to make myself a pan of brownies!!
What a great post. I think I've been feeling all of those feelings for a few months now. The uncertainty is scary but all we can do is prepare and trust in Heavenly Father because we will, through his help, make it through whatever may come our way. Glad to know others are in the same boat feeling the same things. You and I will just have to get together and find out all of the fun free things we can do without having to spend a penny! :)
It's always hard when things are so uncertain. I personally know how devastating it is to lose a job but I also know Heavenly Father does watch over us.
There is nothing more disconcerting than job uncertainty. We have felt that in our life, and I too, am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that helps us weather the storm--come what may. ((((hugs))))
It is a very scary time. I hope that everything goes well for Chuck's job... and that whatever shakeups occur he is able to ride them out. You are in our prayers.
Perfectly said! We have been feeling the same way lately... trying to cut back, feeling more grateful for the things we have, realizing that we don't need to know the reasons for everything, but that Heavenly Father does and that should be good enough. Thanks for your thoughts and reflection.
Crazy times huh? Here too. Sadly.
How would we survive without brownies?
I love your post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. This is a crazy time right now with so much uncertainty, it causes some deep pondering. It makes me so grateful to have the gospel and our dear family and friends to turn to during these times.
What a gift you have, to express your feeling so well, is a real talent. Your great!! :)
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