The last few weeks I have been in denial. The kind of denial that you think if you just don't talk about it everything will magically disappear in a puff of smoke. Well, today I realized that my denial is gone and reality has set in....big time.
Most Americans are feeling a bit of
hesitancy these days and to a point I really don't think that is all bad. I have however found myself questioning every little expense lately even more so than I usually do. If I am cold in the house (and let's face it with as cold as it has been here that is quite often) I question,"Do I turn the heat up a few notches or do I put on yet another layer of clothing?". I am invited to a birthday party for a good friend and I wonder,"Wow should I really spend money on going out to eat right now?", I see a great deal on kids clothing that in reality will save us money in the future but when the computer stops working in the middle of my purchase I take it as a "sign" that maybe I should not buy the clothes right now.
Much of these feelings are due to the unstable situation at my husbands workplace right now. My unease is also in great part due to the fact that many people I know and love are loosing their jobs left and right. I found out today that a family we know and love lost their job, my father has been out of work since November and my sweet brother lost his job
yesterday as well.
We are fully aware that we are blessed to have a job at all right now but the question I have is how proactive do you try and be in a situation as this. Do you weather the storm and hope for the best or do you try your best at making your own destiny and hit the pavement and start looking for new jobs?
We have done our fair share of moving, and I for sure have done my part. I have been moving from place to place my entire life. The longest I have ever lived ANYWHERE is 6 years. I am 31 now so you do the math. I am tired of living my life in the upheaval of life in motion. We have finally found the perfect package of friends, church, community, home....we just love it all. I have learned to make the best out of most of my moves...after all, what other option do you have? But, the thought of leaving this perfect little bubble already just knocks me down to a place of hurt and despair that I can't even describe.
So pardon the long introspective post but the only
solace I have found in the last few days is from a pan of brownies. Darn you brownies!!!! Why do you taste so good in my state of sorrow????
Please know that I am not
ungrateful and I do
completely realize that we STILL have a job and a beautiful home and
nothing tragic has
happened yet and may very well never happen. I do realize however that I need to spend much more time on my knees praying for comfort and peace and guidance and know that Heavenly Father is the only one who can lead our little family in the direction it needs to go.
I hope for all of my other friends and family in the same position right now that they may turn to the Lord for comfort as well and that we will all be there to comfort one another!